Close up these eyes,try not to cry

So with adult fare increasing my blood pressure - gosh..the way it beeps once when I board a bus, and the way I embarrass myself digging for my card to tap out just as I take a step down to alight, and the fact that my mom swapped my beloved E! Entertainment in for National Geographic and Discovery Channel (which, btw, are pretty neat stuff but where am I going to watch my E! News from?), there's no way I can escape Me and I turn 19 / Me and I Suffer Quarter-life Crisis Part II.

Suddenly JC life seems like a gap in my memory.

Working at Cluny Court alone tomorrow. Last Thursday when I had to work at SH I went like, 45 mins earlier because I didn't know if there was going to be anyone working with me, and I definitely needed time to navigate around the store.

It was helpful, because after I opened the front door, I froze there for half a minute wondering where to go next.

The truth hurts, the lies work.

I am going to get my eyesight checked this week and sign up for VSC. It's been my ambition since 5 to become a policewoman. I still get excited seeing police cars. If I don't do something about it now, I am pretty sure I will blame myself in the future for letting it become a what-could-have-been. I must at least apply to see if I can get shortlisted.

(For the record, my mom sabotaged me into NPCC. I wasn't that crazy.)

So 2010 started off on a horrible note with me getting bitten by Oggie )-': 
Countdown with Chows and Jayme was awesome though! :-D Went to Clarke Quay after going to Chow's house for her party and frightened ourselves with the stories bout all the Bs :-/ And Bra Bra/Grace, there were AMs!!!! (yeah got HAMs too :-P) 
Being the law-abiding citizens we were, we didn't bring along any snow spray/ribbon-spray/any other sprays, cuz it would dirty the place (duh). So we ended up getting sprayed at ._.
And we headed home after taking pictures (much as I'd love to post them up here, idk how to do so w a Mac HAHA) and Chows came over to stay!
(Yeah and I got bitten halfway through my blissful sleep D:) 

01/01/10 
Was rather uneventful. All I did was go to the temple (not cuz of results kkkk), eat, sleep, watch tv, sleep and I've been on the net since forever :-/ 
So while I was online, I had a nice, long chat w Dinnieee (-;
and I learnt alot of new stuff, like:
1) SAFRA is for NS Men (OMG RIGHT NO WONDER WE CLDNT PLAY POOL HAHAHA ONE LOOK ALR KNOW WE NO MEMBERSHIP)
2) Flamingoes are pink because of the shrimps they eat
3) V-DAY IS DRG CNY LAH WL!!!!!!! )-:


Then the whole "I miss SN" thing )-': 
"You wished you cherished every single day and savoured each moment, and now you want to go back and relive every single moment and you can't" 
CREDITS TO DIONNE FOR SAYING/TYPING THIS THEN RACKING HER BRAINS TO RECALL IT AGAIN FOR ME TO POST IT UP HERE HAHAHA
(seriously, slap me again for hating school so much last time)

Indeed. Reading Dionne's blog made me realize so much. (Like she actually makes some sense sometimes HAHA)
1 I DON'T EVEN HAVE A PICTURE WITH THE TRACK/FIELD LAH.
2 My English is actually quite bad :-/
3 I really miss school )-':

It was by a stroke of sheer luck I ended up here but truly (yeah my PSLE wasn't all that impressive )-: ) , the past 4 years in St Nicks have gotta be the most memorable/enjoyable years of school life. I kinda still hvnt got over the fact that it's over. I mean the very first day of school is still stuck indelibly in my mind, as is the day the whole class was sleeping during history lesson in sec 1 (some video on Pyramids. See Mr Tan, I was paying attention despite my eyes being closed!!! haha). And as much as sec 2 sucked, I still remember fragments of it. Sec 3 and 4 of course, I remember: All the fun we had during free periods/in between lessons/wherever and whenever, wrestling/gambling/gossiping (okay fine fine me only)/sleeping/doing and drawing retarded stuff. Strolling along the corridors at least 5 times/day, it seems strangely ironic how I used to wonder in sec 1 at how "those upper sec people don't need to study ah. Always so free, walk about" (yeah I kinda grew out of it soon). Yeah and Bra bra my camwhore-during-lessons buddy, I'll miss you. Haha and how could I forget the post-prelim period where we had a picnic during 9 o clock break (yeah sorry for spilling the cup of green tea :-/) ! And all the times Mrs Yeo drew slices of cake/ice creams/whatnot on the board when we went "Mrs Yeo, early recessssss/hungry!!!!" , (futilely) made us sing the math songs which she would then accompany with the goofiest actions. I know I didn't pay attention half the time during Math, but when I did, all these made it alot more bearable. As for History, it was just simply enjoyable. (Yes. Even all the excruciating 'DO-YOUR-SBQs' lessons which would somehow turn out hilarious too) And thank you Ms Law for that. Ms Jacob, I recall all the times you made me read excerpts from MSND/random poems and I did such a terrible job. Maybe if I had been good and read it properly I wouldn't have screwed up my english oral (Sorry for this Mrs Tan. as well as for falling comfortably into a deep slumber during the last english lesson ) )-': Ms Prav./Mrs Lim/Mrs Hoo, sorry I think no A1 already :-\ And Mrs Ong, thank you for all the early recesses/being so nice and motherly (-: CNM and CJY my fave chinese teachers!!!!! Sorry I got A2 for Chinese. One day I will speak perfect chinese!!! (-:
So now with 10 days left, I'm just praying (divine intervention?) that I didn't do bad enough to let anyone down.


To all my friends:
I know I hvnt been the best, and I apologize for having been a bitch/insensitive/rude/kiampa/mean/gossipmonger-ish/irritating/sticky/annoying/wtv.
(BUT SERIOUSLY LAH, I'M HUMAN SO I ERR TOO HAHA)
Well inevitably, 2010's here = we're parting ways )-:
I used to place immense trust in us, our friendship and honestly thought we'd be 'Friends Forever'. I naively believed it was possible but I ceased to recently. (sidetrack end)
Whatever it is, thank you all for everything, happy or sad. Whether or not we still talk in future, I'll be thankful enough knowing we have shared memories (good ones I hope) :-/ 
As the saying goes, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" (-: 


To all my
Alicia
Brander
Caryl
Dionne/Daphne
recess friends, (not forgetting the Grace Li Min Yu Hui) 
I love y'all loadssss. Let's just say recess will never be the same again )))-: But we must must still celebrate birthdays together (even if the surprises are totally fail :-p) k!!!!


I'm a day late but here are my New Year Resolutions:
1) Be more filial (guilty D:)
2) Live life to the fullest/ No regrets (yeah, wtv school I end up in I'll try to love it D:)
3) Be healthier/ Exercise more/ Eat less junk
4) Study (alotttt) harder 
5) Be a nicer person/better friend
6) (Finally) Learn how to save/Be less of a spendthrift
7) Curse less

Had a countdown bbq party (though we didnt count) .
Too busy playing sparklerrs.
Everything was just aweeesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..
Alot ppl came, friends, family friends... 

MAJONG! BLACKJACK! BRIDGE!
hahaha, evryone was just so crazyyyyyyy.

Yay, i want to hold mmore partiesssss. So funnnnnnnn ! :D
I want more camwhoring, catching-up sessions !

Hello 2010.
It will be another great year.

(though im not too sure about making new friends in a totally new enviroment)
 

Great. A new year. New beginning. New environment. Embrace the future...

Countdown party was fun accept that we didn't COUNTDOWN at all.. Finally got to fish, bet pl's super happy. I caught 2 fishy!!!! Not bad. I feel old... 2009 was too fast. But it was a nice and sweet year.

Somehow, I felt that I lost something... Some things got left behind in 2009.

New Year Resolutions
1. Lose weight, exercise more, be healthier.
2. Remember the good, forget the bad - MOVE ON
3. Be nicer to myself
4. Poke others' bubbles
5. Bring on the good from 2009
6. Live life to the fullest
7. Be nicer to everyone, shut your ears when others bitch and DO NOT bitch along.
8. Cut bangs (Or buy?)
9. Study harder, really, study and stop stoning..
10. Go back visit SN, but stay away from NP. (Get rid of those feelings)
11. Sign our contract
12. Be more active with my family
13. Stop thinking too much, have child-like faith

Suddenly, everything seems so overhyped. Like how the Christmas lights that used to mesmerize the kid in me became so redundant, and counting down to New Year is unnecessary. It's like, there's no need for such celebration. Can't we just welcome the new year (and to many, the chance to start afresh) calmly as we contemplate what is it in the new year that we want to achieve?

Of course, you don't listen to the bullshit of someone who's working both NYE and New Year's Day.

Another note, Awfully Chocolate party at Everything With Fries (restaurant under the same management) and it's just amazing how quickly everyone got to know everyone else. While it helped me recover my socialising skills (exams did make me lose a fair bit of it), my plan of hiding in one corner to people-watch failed.

The first corporate party I attended two years ago was mainly made up of thirty-something dentists and their spouses, talking adultish so that didn't count. But yesterday...I like growing up ^^

I think the holidays has given me time,
and time has made me think.
I think the word "precious" holds a weightage heavier
than what most people realise.
Anyways, I'm dreading my first breath into 2010.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and all the things you do.

hols = booooooo
1) I tend to think alot when I'm free (yeah I do use my brain occasionally)
2) When I think, I think about what expression to have on when receiving my results/how to react when I see my horrible results/what the heck am I going to do after that and where do I go
3) I go out.
4) Alot. ($$$$ ahhh)
5) I sleep like I'm never gonna wake up again
6) I keep meeting people I don't wanna meet D:
7) Cuz if it ends, so do us and our outings )))-':
8) It's like I'm a millionaire (with time instead of money), I have so much time to waste now and when school reopens, I wonder where it all went :-\
9) My friend doesn't want me anymore )-':
10) Yeah, the whole distancing shit.
11) I kinda miss school + all the shit we used to do a whole damn load.

)-':

今天，我跟叶慧明在msn chat. 她讲 “用华语将记忆里的画面用笔记定下”。她很rubbish. 我不知道她想说什么，可是应该是something like post in 华语的意思。所以TADA! CHINESE POST! Must start in a realy nice way :D

昨夜风兼雨                                  Last night the wind and rain together blew,
帘帏飒飒秋声                              The wall-curtains rustled in their autumn song.
烛残漏断频伊                              The candle died, the water-clock was exhausted,
起坐不能平                                  I rose and sat, but could not be at peace.
世事漫随流水                              Man's affairs are like the flow of floodwater,
算来一梦浮声                              A life is just like floating in a dream.
醉乡路稳宜频到                          I should more often go drunken through the country,
此外不堪行                                  For otherwise I could not bear to live.

YAY. 很难type out. 是李煜的诗《昨夜风兼雨》。杨婉林肯定看不懂！所以我给你英文的意思:D 很累啊。我本来有很多东西要讲的。可是，现在忘记了， 因为那个臭诗拿很多时间和脑细胞！

我们可能可以去云顶了！！！很开心！等一下如果不可以去，我一定死。家长很麻烦，我知道他们关心我们，因为很危险，可是我很想去。。。

我明天再继续。因为明天早上有job briefing， 所以要早睡！不然会有very ugly eye bags and eye circles! 要很早起来。。。): 天啊。。。 我要睡觉！！

You left before I had a chance to say goodbye
But you can't hold on to regrets and you can't look back
So I'll just be thankful for the times that I had with you

Dear partner, iluemtm!! Yea, seriously, the fours years would be so painful and hard without you, and of course, the two of them. Especially the last two years. We've went through much more than more and we survived it because like you say, the four of us are always there to help around no matter what. We never really get to tell them how great they have been. They have been really helpful and important all along even though there maybe small disputes here and there. What matters is that we grew closer because of those rubbish! hahaa! Thank God right for our wonderful squad who will cooperate with us when we are dealing with one whole unit. Thank God that our special squad here is unlike any others. Choose the right path for ourselves. Its just goodnight and not goodbye :D

I hate my damn fishing sister. She's a bitch! She's a slut who tries to hook up any random guys, even ugly ones, making me feel so damn fishing embarrassed. Who on earth does that? How desperate can people like her get?? Such an attention seeker.. Bitch. Always trying to be someone she's not.. With her stupid brain up there thinking that her random friends are cool just because they curse and swear in hokkien? Some ppl are really cool when they does that, but not them. Seriously, what are they thinking? Get your own life, get your own style, and stop trying to be someone you're not! Kicking up a big fuss in the library or the bus? Its not cool, its just LC. Disgusting. STOP going through my contacts in my phone and recording down their numbers idiot. Get your own friends. I know what you did last winter! (hehe) Comeon, reading this? Cant rmb what you did? Ask me what you did. AND, YOU STOLE MY DARLING. ASSHOLE... HCk.

Job briefing tmr. Abt work? It's a total blur currently. Need enlightenment.

Heyy, how's life for you? Its kinda terrible here. And I know that to go on, I have to break you, my habit..

I scream your name at the sky
Until I lost my voice
Well I'd give my life for you

I feel cheated.
Genting trip cancelled, everyone gave me false hopes.
D:
I hate this kind of feeling.
Makes me so depressed.
I really wanted to go genting.

Countdown party on 31st.
Maybe another dissapointment again.

On a lighter note, new phone, new cam.

But somehow i dont feel good D: 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vScYcc-1Ayg&NR=1
HAHA CB!!!!!!! I swear I was about to turn my laptop upside down to watch it :-|
Anyways, today was awesome :-D finally went out w Amellia!!!!!!

Today:
1) HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHIYI!!!!!! (sorry our surprise failed miserably, didnt even get to sing birthday song D:)
2) Met Dionne and Yu Hui, went to SAFRA (HAHA YU HUI, WE WANT TO XIAN4 CHOU3 THEY ALSO DONT LET PLZ :-\ SRC SOOOOON!)
3) Went for Hamstie's funeral @ Sembawang Park D: (DON'T BE SAD ALR CHOWS)
4) Met Am!!!!!!! :-D 

Tomorrow:
Avatar w Bra Bra and idk who else, and maybe dinner with Am :-D 

Went to Sungei Road for the first time today and it was such a bad experience I am 101% positive I am never going back again. It's like, I heard all these great things about that place, and the cheap and pretty things they sell there, but when I saw it for myself, I'm not sure if I'm that willing to buy (/touch) anything from there.

Bag hunt at Bugis Village after that.

I will end abruptly, because you see, I can go on and on about how I got the kind of bag I've wanted since forever, and about the crowd that pissed me off...but the point that the company was to die for, to die for makes everything else pointless. It's exactly the kind of day I could get used to.

My week ahead:
Monday: Quality time with Char + getting legs waxed
Tuesday: Slobbing time with YH -> Awfully Choc party
Wednesday: Meeting Aunt -> prawning with Bros > Hoes
Thursday: Work (Sembawang Hills branch, curious people!) -> Countdown at Pan's
Friday: (That's next year = too far away to plan now)

:)

self-explanatory.

Yesterday:
Went to Sarah, Zhi Wei and Val's to stay. (and Jesslyn's to put my stuff HAHA) 

The day before yesterday:
Kia Lin and Sub came to stayover!!!!!! (:-D)><
(more like help make my christmas presents :-/) 

I AM GOING TO SLEEP NOWWWWWWW

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same


Opening ceremony : Let the FEAST begin! :DDD



OUR kite


Picnic on wednesday was fun! We will definitely remember this 10years later! <3
1) Shao is missing!!
2) Begin by spilling coke all over the mat
3) Flying carpet
4) All butt wet: mat not waterproof! :(
5) Heartattack
6) London bridge is falling down
7) Plans for potluck: EXOTIC FOOD: snake skin, giraffe neck, elephant trunk, lizard tail, alligator's legs, monkey tail
8) Phone went for a swim
9) Running after shuttle bus which has got no driver

Oh! and its CHRISTMAS!! YAYES!
Santa claus is coming to town...
I wanna eat turkey.
Watched AVATAR last night. Super COOL! I want one too~ tsk. I wanna watch chipmunks..

Its already 25th dec! How fast time flies. Im starting to get jumpy about Os results. Tsk. I dont wanna start school yet. And I don't look forward to 2010 at all! New environment, new rules, new faces. Like Glog says, there's gonna be bubbles all around for people to poke. And it so sucks to go to a new place.. I want sn. Results Results, not confident at all. Work Work..

I want to go genting!!!!!!

I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't oh
I hope you can hear me
Cause I remember it clearly